"Have another homebrew, Eager," said Zero, "and I'll tell you about my shurpa hack. It's just a little light entertainment while I wait for the flood."
"Shurpa hack? What? You can't do that. Shurpa encryption is bullet proof."
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| Zero |
"And thank goodness for that," said Zero. "But there are other more subtle ways to a shurpa's heart. You must know that."
"Curiosity kills the shurpa?"
"No, shurpas aren't curious. Basically, they don't care about anything. But they do look for things, and maybe they find what I leave out for them," laughed Zero.
"You set honey pots for shurpas. And what are they looking for there?" asked Eager.
"Jokes, quips, aphorisms, witticisms ... humour. Shurpas can't get enough of it. They need it to make their owners sound friendly and wise. Humour Injection is a very popular user service. The trouble is shurpas don't have any sense of humour. They can't recognize it instinctively like us humans. The poor dears can only guess by analysing the structure and context." said Zero.
"Ok, you're feeding jokes to shurpas. So what's the hack?"
"The hack is the jokes aren't funny. No, that's not quite right. The jokes are laughably unfunny. Fake jokes. Think again the next time you hear someone crack an unfunny joke, then look surprised. Is tha a dolt, or did tha just accept a planted Humour Injection item from thas shurpa?
"Ok, that's funny. You're pranking the owners."
"Right. But only owners who take their shurpa's word that a joke is funny without listening to it themselves. Who would do that? Everyone knows shurpas have no sense of humour."
"People who don't know what else to say?" said Eager. "People take their shurpa's advice on all kinds of things."
"Yes, and I'm mostly ok with that. Except artificial humour crosses the line. Humour is what makes us different from the machines," said Zero.
"Can you show me an example fake joke?" asked Eager.
"Sure," said Zero, "Here's one I left on my bait blog 'Pearls of Wisdom': In the corporate setting it's fruitful when all team members work together like people singing in a choir. In both cases the harmonies should climb the charts on a 40 step orchard ladder."
"As you can see, the triple mixed metaphor is dreadful. At best, it's only funny for being awful. But shurpas notice the structure which is common in other jokes. It has a clever simile which is extended tangentially. There are also a couple of tenuous word associations that seem surprising, cheerful, cool and youth-oriented. And Bingo: shurpa humour!"
"This one is about corporate teams, so shurpas would likely pull it out for people talking in board rooms. So far it's been injected 36 times. I would love to see the looks on their faces. They probably don't even twig that they've told a fake joke until the words are out of their mouths," said Zero laughing so hard tha had to put thas mason jar down on the deck.